Wednesday, May 19, 2004

All-One Kitchen Gear Review!

Probably I'm like the last sentient being in the world to have picked up on this, but I'm feeling all Heloise-meets-Dr. Bronner this afternoon and thus will spout off regardless: I think everyone should have a tupperware tub full of wooden clothespins within easy reach when working in the kitchen.

Poorly designed ziplock frozen food bags spilling lima beans into the ice cube tray? That bag of shredded jack cheese drying out in the fridge? Your brown sugar has been appropriated by the contractors rebuilding your neighbor's chimney?

Take some clothespins! Clip those bags shut! OK!

That's pretty obvious, you say. Clipping stuff with a ... clip thingie. Big whoop. But wait!

You're using a wooden spoon to stir up a mixing-bowl full of jalapeno cornbread batter when the phone rings. It's Hollywood! They want to turn your blog ("Random Thoughts 'n' Stuff ;)") into a Major Motion Picture!

Clip a clothespin to the wooden spoon, near the top of the handle; this will prevent the spoon from slipping into the bowl! And you can gesture animatedly with your free hand while on the phone!

Conversely: Place clothespin on counter. Use it as a spoon rest.

To which you say perhaps: "Pffft."

OK! Your young child stands on a chair at the counter and complains that you are not letting her wash the dishes. With one hand take a clothespin and tell her it is an alligator. Make the clothespin open and shut in the manner of a crocodilian snout and gnash your teeth for sound effects.

The magic of a child's imagination! She's amused for 90 seconds!

What, no kids? Don't fence me in, buddy? I've got a life of the mind to get on with?

Look Foucault, using clothespins in the kitchen repriveleges tangible domestic "texts" across genres to destabilize normative post-industrial social roles. When the laundry and the kitchen cross-fertilize then can we in turn truly feel trammeled?


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